Anstrengend. Einfach nur anstrengend.

Mein Leben als Autist ist anstrengend.
Es vergeht kaum ein Tag, an dem nicht irgendein Ereignis an meinen Kraftreserven zehrt.

Sei es die Stadtbahn, die ausfällt und mich die Routine fürs Zuspätkommen abspielen lässt, sei es der merkwürdig diesige Himmel, der die Sonne überaus grell erscheinen lässt, sei ein nerviges Schreiben, das binnen zwei Wochen die Einsendung irgendwelcher Unterlagen von mir verlangt, sei es die Arztpraxis, die auf meine E-Mail antwortet(!), dass ich bitte telefonisch einen Termin vereinbaren soll, sei es der rücksichtslose Nachbar, der meint, er müsse sonntags um 12:00 (!) bei offenem Fenster musizieren oder die Waren im Supermarkt, wieder einmal an einem anderen Platz stehen.

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RMS Oceanic (in service 1871-1895)

By Photograph by Mike Peel (www.mikepeel.net)., CC BY-SA 4.0, Link

New Year’s Eve

Celebrating New Year’s Eve? That is not my thing.

That nasty sudden bangs, the people behaving bizarrely, the bad air, the moaning and groaning about being tight on cash and low wages … as opposed to this people are shooting / blowing their money in the air (literally!). Plain irrational (or you can call that batshit if you like).

Therefore the number of New Year’s Eve parties keeps negligible.

There was an invitation and I was glad for this opportunity to spend some time with others.

But again I flee the turmoil und the uncertainty.

I fear the journey home by night.

I usually do not travel by car after night closes in (because of the glaring lights on the opposite lane). And what’s more: It is not safe. And going by train as well.

So I went to the office doing some work, reading, writing and probably watching a documentary (as an interlude).

For years the days between Christmas and New Year have been filled with plans, ideas, projects … with all the lot that is important to me in the upcoming year.

Here I am at last.

Before midnight I will cast a glance melancholy. Because New Year’s Eve shows annually that I have a different mentality. And I will take this look gladly as well, because I have planned some enjoyable things the days to come: I will do things for the benefit of my health.

 

You probably should, too 🙂

Take good care.

Captain.

Draining shields. Or sensory impacts.

My last post was about people terrorising the neighbourhood with their noise. And I was really, really upset about the acoustic irradiation caused by this specific guy.

Maybe I have written it “with gut instinct” (in German: “out of the belly”, figurative speech).

Let me explain, what is so annoying, so gruelling. It is about sensory impacts and sensory overload.

1st anniversary.

One year ago this blog has been launched.

I was less often in the Radio room than I thought I would be.

Even on our Autistic Pride Day I did not post a single syllable 😦  Well, I did not forget, but I could not bring myself together to write something nice and encouraging.

The last months were demanding, my journey through life on my steamer was “energy-sapping”. Well, obviously the normal “highs and lows”, as the saying goes, but in addition to that there were storms and high seas and pirates.

Of course I am the captain on this vessel, but I am also an Aspie-Captain.

For me it is many times harder to butt out than for people near me: They can swallow unfair behaviour. They say to themselves: “Let them be right, so I have my peace.”

I can not handle things in this manner.

I have to fight and I have to sort things out. Otherwise they will be “active” in my head and distract me at work or even from my everyday stuff.

I wish my journey would take me to a place where I can live my life, where I can work, write, enjoy things, rest as I need it to stay save and sound.

May you do well!